What became of 'United we stand'?

February 4, 2002

As I was driving down Route 201 last week, a man in an SUV barreled up behind me and rode my bumper through the traffic circle all the way to the Old Vestal Road exit.

I couldn't see the roof of his truck through my back window. Obeying the speed limit didn't seem to be on his agenda.

The woman in front of me at the grocery store last weekend got snippy with the young man cashing her out because she had forgotten her discount card. Apparently, it was his fault she didn't put the card back in her purse the last time she used it.

I saw a minivan on Wednesday with flags jutting out of each corner of the vehicle. Everyone had them a few months ago but, looking around the Vestal parking lot, it was the only one with tiny flags flapping in the wind.

It's almost as if the patriotism and goodwill that was so prevalent in the weeks following Sept. 11 have disappeared.

Drivers who had been courteous are driving like turkeys again. Customers who had treated clerks with respect are rude again.

And the car flags that were a superficial expression of a deeper sense of pride in our country and its residents have disappeared.

We've all heard countless times since Sept. 11 that the world has changed. The more than 3,000 deaths that day didn't just spark a war on terrorism -- they set off a domino effect of altruism. We've heard that people are more thoughtful, that people want to contribute more meaningful things to the world.

Hundreds of funds have been established to assist people affected by the attacks, including one specifically designed to help families of maintenance and restaurant workers who died at the World Trade Center deal with rent, credit card debt and other legal and financial problems.

Faith in humankind and our country was extremely high in the weeks following Sept. 11.

We talked to each other in crowded elevators and made special efforts to smile at strangers passing us on the sidewalk.

We let in merging traffic and reconnected with old friends.

But it seems those days are over.

We avoid making eye contact with people we don't know standing in line at the DMV.

The flags flying on our car antennas are tattered, and we throw them out without replacing them.

We get irritated with fast food workers who don't work as quickly as we'd like.

We don't return phone calls from friends and family as soon as we could.

I'm guilty of it, too.

We've forgotten the changes we made five months ago. Is our memory so short or are we so desensitized to the horror of the real world that we can go back to life as it was before Sept. 11? We see photos of the World Trade Center on fire and the twinges of grief are still there, but they are much smaller.

In one way, it's good that we don't tear up every time we see photos of the twisted metal of Ground Zero. We can't wallow in grief forever.

But that day should have changed us permanently.

If good can come of those thousands of deaths, it shouldn't be just the capture and punishment of the terrorists responsible.

We should become better people, even if in small ways.